We Are The Point

If you are like me, you often find yourself in a hurry to get someplace; and it is always someplace other than where you are. When you are at point A you need to get to point B, and when you are at point B you need to get back to point A. If only I could already be at point A at the same time that I need to be there, why can’t that happen?! And all the while you really wish you could just be at point C, that is where you really want to be!

Then sometimes I think, wouldn’t it be great if we could just trade lives for a little while? I’ll stay at point A, where you need to go, and you can stay at point B, where I need to go, and we all can save ourselves a whole lot of time and trouble.

This is the problem isn’t it? We are all so busy going here and there, and in such a hurry to get this way and that—we’re missing the point! And then we get frustrated, and maybe overwhelmed and we throw up our hands and say, “what’s the point”?! And then this leads many of us into all sorts of problematic and destructive behaviors, and this is my point.

Modern life is nuts. We can’t keep up with our own lives; things are so ‘convenient’ that everything has become inconvenient. We’re always late, we’re always impatient, we’re always hopeful that the next ‘G’ will make everything alright again. (If you don’t know what that means, God bless you, stop reading this now and continue to enjoy your life lived at a normal speed.) We had 3G, and now 4G, and 5G is on its way, and I want to say, “G-whiz can’t they just leave it alone for a little while?!”

What might we do, if our lives didn’t constantly feel as if we were being tailgated by the entire world, all the time? Go faster, get out of the way, or get run over.

Perhaps we’d read a book (that is an old-fashioned Kindle, made with paper, that smells like history), or perhaps we’d sit down and converse with a real person (that’s someone like you, who hopefully doesn’t smell too much like history). Hopefully, we could rediscover our humanity.

Is there a forgotten friend you’d like to visit, or a loved-one you haven’t seen in a while? I know there are lonely people out there who need someone to talk with, and someone to listen. Perhaps you are that lonely person too. In our rush to get someplace, we may have left ourselves behind—and lost ourselves along the way.

And this, finally, is my point: by taking the time to encounter another person, we will also encounter ourselves, and this encounter can put the ‘human’ back into humanity. We become less robotic and more alive.

Specifically, I want to encourage encounters with those on the margins of our society. I want to encourage visits with people in nursing homes, and assisted living environments, or visits with those who suffer from illness or chronic pain, and are unable to get out of their homes. Perhaps you don’t know any of these people, but you will if you go, and in time, these strangers will become loved-ones, and they will become dear to you.

“Hold on a second,” I hear you saying, “I don’t have time for this. That nursing home is point ‘D’, and I only go between A and B, while dreaming about C. Also…those places are so depressing…and people there are dying, or even dead. I want no part of that, thank you.”

Now I must admit something to you, I’m afraid of death. I don’t like it. I don’t like it when other people die and I especially don’t like it when I die. I also don’t like being reminded of death, or that I’m going to die. These are powerful and good reasons to avoid places like nursing homes. I often pray I won’t end up in one, and if I do someday, I expect I will be dragged into it against my will, so why would I voluntarily go into one?

Honestly? For love of others. We all have it, but sometimes it takes a lot of effort and courage to dredge it up. Fear gets in the way. Some fears are helpful, they can protect us, but many other fears pretend to protect us, but instead all they are really doing is imprisoning us, and isolating us from each other, and alienating us from our own humanity. I believe we were made to love one another courageously, and this is what makes us human.

I will go further and say that giving love is what makes us mature, no longer like little children afraid of shadows. So, I convince myself to finally put on my ‘big-boy pants’ and ignore the shadow of death, trusting in the power of love instead, and I enter a nursing home, and ask a nurse does she know who would like a visitor today? Who is in need of someone to talk with? Who can’t get out of their room, or possibly even out of their bed? Who is lonely? Who has been crying because nobody has come to see them? Who is forgetting that they are a person with dignity, and meaning and value? Who is convinced that they have no reason to live? Who doesn’t think they matter anymore?

She points me to a room down the hall and to the left. I walk in and meet my new friend, my new ‘beloved’ who I have never known before this moment.  It is a little uncomfortable at first…what to talk about? But nearly everyone likes to talk about themselves, so I ask questions about their life, their memories, special events, special people; so many, many topics to open and delve into. And if I genuinely dedicate myself to this other person, surprisingly, time begins to stand still a little bit. Life slows down to a natural pace, I can catch my breath again, and I feel human and alive.

We smile together, and we laugh together. We have nowhere else to go; the only place we need to be is here, and the only time we need is now. For the moment there are no other ‘points’ to get to, the only point is what is happening between us.

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~FS