June 30

Insensibility or deadening of the soul consists in the deprival and loss of a sense of repentance and mourning from our spirit, and a loss of that salutary pain called contrition from our heart. Painlessness of heart or illusory peace is a true sign of a wrong outlook, wrong struggle, self-deception. “However great may be the life we lead,” says St John of the Ladder, “it we have not acquired a suffering and painful heart, we may count it stale and spurious.” Painlessness comes from an inattentive life…from gluttony…from vainglorious thoughts, from presumption and pride. “If you are without compunction,” says the Fathers, “know that you have vainglory; for it does not allow the soul to come to compunction.”

The way to attain compunction is an attentive life. “The beginning of repentance comes from the fear of God and attention,” as the holy martyr Boniface says. “The fear of God is the father of attention, and attention is the mother of inner peace, which gives birth to a conscience which enables the soul to see its deformity as in a kind of clear and still water, and so are born the beginnings and roots of repentance.”

~Ignatius Brianchaninov

June 29

The greatest of the holy Fathers admitted that repentance was their sole occupation. Having given themselves up to this activity, they more and more widened its scope for themselves, since repentance not only cleanses a person from sins but also sharpens his sight so that he sees himself more clearly.

When some spots of sin are removed by repentance from the garment of the soul, then suddenly the existence of other spots is discovered, less coarse but no less important, which have remained unnoticed till now on account of the dullness of our sight.

Finally repentance leads a person who practices it to the most profound spiritual visions; there is disclosed to him his own fall and the fall of all mankind, his suffering and the suffering of mankind under the yoke of the prince of this world, the wonderful work of redemption and the other mysteries, with which the reader must become acquainted by experience, for human speech is quite inadequate to tell of them.

~Ignatius Brianchaninov

June 28

In order to approach Christ and enter into union with Him by means of holy baptism, it is essential first of all to repent. And after holy baptism, we are given freedom either to stay in union with the Lord or to break this union by intercourse with sin. Not only that, but in our fallen nature holy baptism does not destroy our aptitude for producing evil mixed with good, so that our will and pleasure may be constantly tested, so that our choice of divine good and our preference of it to evil and our corrupted good may be free, proved positively by our submission to all the sorrows and sufferings of the way of the cross.

By holy baptism, original sin is expunged, as are also sins committed before baptism. It also eliminates the violent power sin has over us till our rebirth; it gives us the grace of the Holy Spirit by which we are united with God in Christ, and we receive power to subdue and conquer sin. For the simple reason that we are not delivered from the struggle with sin, we cannot be entirely free from sin during the whole of our earthly life, and even “a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again” by repentance, says scripture….

Repentance becomes his secure possession, his constant weapon, his invaluable treasure. By repentance, the righteous man maintains his fellowship with Christ. He is healed by repentance from the wounds caused by sin.

~Ignatius Brianchaninov

June 27

The Savior of the world has said, “The lamp of the body is the eye.” By lamp the Savior meant the spiritual power of the human soul, the spirit of man; by body the Savior meant all man’s activity and the quality of his life that is formed by and depends on this activity….

“When your eye is good,” that is, when the spiritual power is unconfused by sin or fellowship with Satan, then “your whole body also is full of light,” that is, your activity will be right and will be holy in quality. “But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness.” See to it that your spirit, which is your natural light and the source of light for  your life, does not become dark and a source of darkness.

This eye becomes evil through accepting falsehood. A result of this acceptance is wrong activity, while the quality of life becomes a state of sinfulness and self-deception. By accepting false thoughts the mind is corrupted, the conscience loses its reliability, and all the spiritual feelings of the heart are likewise infected with abnormality and sinfulness. Man becomes useless, an enemy of his own salvation, a murderer of his own soul, an enemy of God.

~Ignatius Brianchaninov

June 26

The Savior of the world has said, “The lamp of the body is the eye.” By lamp the Savior meant the spiritual power of the human soul, the spirit of man; by body the Savior meant all man’s activity and the quality of his life that is formed by and depends on this activity….

“When your eye is good,” that is, when the spiritual power is unconfused by sin or fellowship with Satan, then “your whole body also is full of light,” that is, your activity will be right and will be holy in quality. “But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness.” See to it that your spirit, which is your natural light and the source of light for  your life, does not become dark and a source of darkness.

This eye becomes evil through accepting falsehood. A result of this acceptance is wrong activity, while the quality of life becomes a state of sinfulness and self-deception. By accepting false thoughts the mind is corrupted, the conscience loses its reliability, and all the spiritual feelings of the heart are likewise infected with abnormality and sinfulness. Man becomes useless, an enemy of his own salvation, a murderer of his own soul, an enemy of God.

~Ignatius Brianchaninov

The Arena

I would like to recommend reading, The Arena: Guidelines for Spiritual and Monastic Life written by Ignatius Brianchaninov. Though the title seems to imply that it is written for monastics this isn’t entirely the case, but rather, it is written also for lay people who are interested in deepening their relationship with our Savior.

It is an extremely clear and concisely written guidebook in the spiritual life and the inner spiritual struggle, written by a Russian bishop as a summary of all that he had learned in his forty years of study in the holy Fathers, and through serving the church as a monk, priest, archimandrite, abbot and eventually as a recluse.

The majority of the text falls under his heading, ‘Counsels for the Spiritual Life…’ and consists of a comprehensive series of topics which each of us will face in our own spiritual life. Each chapter is quite short and can be read in a space of anywhere from a few minutes up to a half hour, so the book could be used as a devotional if one wanted to approach it in that way.

Here are the titles of some of the chapters to give you a brief idea of the scope and breadth of his instruction: On the Study of the Commandments of the Gospel…The [Spiritual] Life is Life According to the Commandments of the Gospel…Love for Our Neighbor Is a Means of Attaining to Love for God…On Prayer…On Divine Meditation…On the Remembrance of Death…Sources of Temptations…On the Necessity for Courage in Temptations…Concerning Human Glory…Concerning Resentment of Remembrance of Wrongs…Concerning the Fallen Angels…Struggling with the Fallen Angels…On the Close Affinity Between Virtues and Vices…Concerning Repentance and Mourning.

Most of us in today’s world lack a spiritual father, or someone who acts in our lives directly as a spiritual director. In absence of this we can find direction from the church Fathers and others who have written and been approved by the Church. As each of us strive to deepen our relationship with The Divine, we need guidance and direction, and thankfully the Orthodox Church has many who have gone before us and can show us the way. Bishop Ignatius has provided in this relatively brief volume just such direction for us, and I hope many will make use of his hard-fought wisdom.

June 25

The devil employs all his efforts to hinder prayer or to make it powerless and ineffective. For this spirit–cast down from heaven for pride and rebellion against God, infected with incurable envy and hatred for the human race, burning with thirst for the destruction of men, sleeplessly engaged day and night in man’s ruin–it is intolerable to see weak and sinful man detach himself by prayer from everything earthly, and enter into conversation with God Himself and go out from this conversation sealed with the mercy of God, in hope of inheriting heaven and seeing even his frail body transformed into a spiritual body.

This spectacle is unbearable for a spirit who is forever condemned to creep and crawl, as in mud and stench, in thoughts and feelings exclusively carnal, material, sinful, and who must finally be cast down and confined for all eternity in the prisons of hell.

~Ignatius Brianchaninov

June 24

The devil converses with a person without using a voice, yet with words; because thoughts are the same as words, only not uttered by a voice, not clothed in sounds without which men cannot communicate their thoughts to each other. In the same word, Makarios the Great says, “The devil acts so cunningly that all evil appears to us as if it were born of itself in the soul and not from the extraneous action of an alien spirit acting maliciously and endeavoring to remain hidden.”

~Ignatius Brianchaninov

A Letter To My Nephew Upon His Graduation

Congratulations on your graduation from high school, and the advent of life beyond school; the real world, many people call it. Your mom asked if I might write a few words about this for you; on a topic that I think is important, and could be of use to you.

I don’t know whether this will be of use to you, but I do think this is important.

I think every good thing in life begins with Christ, so to have your best life, make Him the center of it. If you lack faith pray for faith. If you don’t believe at all, then realize that this life easily allows you to live without God, or faith in Him, and sometimes one can live here quite well without these, but at some point things usually fall apart in this life, whether from physical or emotional or mental problems, or financial ones, and then it becomes a little clearer why faith, and God, and Christ are important.

But even these are not the best reasons to seek faith, and to seek God, and to seek a relationship with Him; these are in a sense only superficial reasons, even though they are good reasons, but by comparison, the fact that you will die someday, and will need a savior at that time, is by far the most compelling, and unavoidable reason for cultivating a relationship with Jesus, and for living by His commands now, and throughout your life.

But, of course, even the fact of our own death isn’t reason enough, for many people, to seek relationship with Jesus above all other things, because the reality beyond this life is impossible to prove, and we can’t know that His claims are true beyond all doubt; and people want or like proof, before they act. Nobody wants to be a fool, or to appear that way, and basing our life on Christ appears to be foolishness to many people.

Consider this for yourself however, very seriously. Have courage to take your life here, and your potential eternal life, seriously, even if others prefer to avoid the issue, or consider it unanswerable, or pointless, or silly, and consider Christ’s claims of who He is, what He did for us, and why He did it. If you don’t know what He claims to be, what He did, and why, then this is a good first step: to find all of this out for yourself.

There is an excellent quote attributed to Mark Twain, which is: “whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” He is implying that the majority is typically wrong, which of course, isn’t always the case, but it is good to consider that they might be. Don’t allow yourself to go the way of others, merely out of fear or laziness. Your life is too important to squander it out of fear, or from laziness.

When I say to make Christ the center of your life, I mean to do something about that, not to merely say it, or let it just be words without any meaning. There is nothing better that you can do with your time, in my opinion, than to pursue relationship with Christ, and this means learning who He is by reading the Bible, and learning what He asks us to do, which means reading the Bible to find His commands, and then implementing them in your day to day life. This is the source of fulfillment, meaning, and everything else that people want for themselves in life.

Certainly I hope that you find a job that you enjoy, but even if you do, there will be plenty of times that it is just boring, or frustrating, or tedious, and how do you keep going when life can be this way? Do you just find a means of distraction, endless entertainments, only video games and sleep to avoid the monotony, and pass the time? I don’t mean just you, I mean all of us, when I ask this rhetorical question. Maybe this can work for a while, or maybe even for a lifetime, but if you pursue a life with Christ you will come to understand from experience that this is not what He intends for us at all, and while many people settle for just getting by in life, trying not to hurt anyone, and just somehow managing to make it through another day, this isn’t the life you have to settle for.

I can’t tell you what a life dedicated to Christ is like precisely, you will have to discover that for yourself, but I can tell you that it isn’t anything at all, if you don’t do it.

But if you do it, if you learn from Jesus, and follow Him, you will discover a life of joy and blessedness; and I don’t mean a life of ease, or a life without trials and difficulties, that kind of life doesn’t really exist here on earth. I mean a life of joy and blessedness, within the inevitable trials and difficulties of life, and that is something the world without Christ, cannot ever offer you. Take as only one simple example, take the command to love your enemies, to pray for them and wish them good. Who in the world would do that, and who would ever encourage you to do that? But this is one thing Christ tells us to do, and if you do it, if you forgive those who annoy you and who have hurt you, and if you go even further, and even follow His command to pray for them, and to desire good for them, then you will discover a freedom and peace within your soul that would not be there by any other means. His commands are only for your benefit and for your good, and if you trust in Him and in His guidance, you will discover that by doing them, you will find every blessedness that you ever hoped for in this world, and in the next.

This is my advice and suggestion for you as you embark on your life after high school. I hope all the best for you now, and always.

 

~FS

 

 

 

Now

Now—

is so beautiful and so precious;

it costs so much to live it,

it hurts so much to lose it.

 

Now is always here and always slipping away.

Reluctantly I let now go,

and meet the next now coming,

then lose that now as well.

 

Now leading to now leading to now—

until, eventually, no more.

Oh, no!

No now, to know, no more!

 

I relive old nows,

I imagine nows to come.

I attempt to control now—

I choose which now to keep and which to forget,

which now to imagine and which to ignore.

 

If I can only master now—

maybe now would never leave me;

if I could somehow control now…

 

stop changing now stop changing

 

Now never listens, it only talks;

and so seductively.

Now appears, surprising me,

I fall in love with now,

and then it leaves me—

 

now breaks my heart

constantly

 

I’m a fool for now,

when will I learn.

Every now I meet—

perhaps this time will be different  (and it always is)

but will it stay, will it never leave…

No, that now just left, then comes another, goes another.

 

Now makes my head spin—

going, coming, coming, going

I give up.

 

Yes, I give myself up to now—

and now fills my heart.

 

~FS