May Grace Settle Me

Please Lord, in your loving-kindness, show me my wickedness. For even in my love, I perceive my hatred towards You. All of the wise, who have come before me, have humbled themselves before you; so why should I consider myself better than they? No, I am not humble; I hide my faults, and justify myself before You, and before men.

Please Lord, in your mercy, show me my sin and let me see my transgressions against You, so that I can understand Your justice, and know the truth of my afflictions; so that I may forestall my descent, and halt my flight away from Your presence.

In my self-satisfaction, I have devised distractions to buttress my self-image. In my folly, I have grown complacent because of entertainments, which persuade me of my virtue. I prefer any lie, that will assure me of my own righteousness, against Your truth which may reveal my corruption.

The foolish hate their Maker and go their own way. They deny His existence in their hearts and make themselves orphans. And when the day of affliction comes upon them, who can they turn to but to themselves, or to those as foolish as they are? And what help will be found in this foolishness?

Please Lord, rescue me from my foolishness and save me from myself. I am at ease every day, content and proud, but beneath this veneer I am in turmoil, there is no soundness in my soul. There is no peace in my being. I wear wit, irony, cleverness and vanity like garments to hide my inner poverty of spirit. I am like a beggar in stolen clothing.

Lord, I plead for your absolute forgiveness; help me to turn back to You. Liberate me from the chains of my smug morality, and show me Your face, that I may see my own face more clearly. Give me a true heart of tears that can wash my innermost being clean. May Your grace settle me.

I am like a wild dog, snarling and vicious, when confronted by pain. But I desire to be docile and pliable to Your will—transcending my intractable pride, so common and ugly, so human and common—to be obedient to what is greater than I; ever-ready to love others in the same manner that You have loved me.

~FS

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